Star Wars Reacts to Chicago!

Some reactions from a galaxy far, far away concerning Chicago getting the Lucas Museum of Narrative Art:

Yoda: Lakefront in summer, beautiful it is; Norman Rockwell paintings are strong in the force as well.

Princess Amidala: Let’s hope the City Council doesn’t restrict the trade routes to the museum for tourists coming and going from Naboo.

Jabba the Hutt: “Takka Doba Naka Doo Runda Hutt So Inta Yorba.  Jabba He He Doba Ky-Lari Ra He Wanda Runda So Jari.”  Or, in English: “I hope that the Council has paid proper tribute to the Hutt Clans.  Jabba will be happy to speak with a representative of the Council about the envelope of $100 bills he recently received in private on Tatooine.”

Han Solo: “Do I have to kiss Carrie Fisher in the new movies?  Has she lost some weight?…What?  You want to know about Chicago?  I had a bad experience the last time I was there with a one-armed man.”

Chancellor Palpatine: “I have just met with the Mayor and George Lucas and we all agree that the lakefront site and Chicago are a world-class – no, a galaxy-worthy choice for this great museum.”

Darth Sidious: “Patience Rahm, everything is going according to plan…”

Mace Windu: “What the heck is George doing with that fine sista?!  He is strong in the force!”

Lando Calrissian: “Mellody, if you change your mind, the Cloud City would be happy to host you…I mean, the Museum, here.

Jar Jar Binks: “Me so glad Chicago won contest!  Imm’a not so sure how to speak in this’a crazy patois, but Imm’a gonna try it out and maybe I won’t make’a Mellody angry.”

Princess Leia: “Han said what about me!  He just can’t stop being a jerk, can he?  I wish Chicago all the best – I only wish Alderaan could still host the museum.”

R2-D2: “Beep, bop, tweet, whistle, long whistle, low beep, beep, bop.”  Or, in English: “I don’t know how the heck you people understand me, but congratulations to Chicago – do they have droid repair facilities there?”

C-3PO: “Oh dear, I’m afraid Chicago’s murder rate is quite high compared to Endor.”

Count Dooku: “I will have Sauron’s ring and there is noth…wait, I’m in the wrong movie?!  Sorry about that.  The lighting shooting from my hand is all you need to know about Chicago you fool!”

Bossk: “Hissssssssssssss.  Hiss, hiss, hisssssssssssssssssss.”  Or in English: “Wow, you are going deep into third-string characters for these reactions…did I even have dialogue in ‘Empire’?”

Dear George Lucas (and Mellody Hobson),

Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming to Chicago — we (well, at least me) are excited about the museum and look forward to the designs and can’t wait to learn more about the collection that you’ll be hosting.

Welcome to your new home — and thank goodness the Presidio couldn’t accommodate your needs!

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About Fake Herzog

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One Response to Star Wars Reacts to Chicago!

  1. Lydia says:

    Mmmmmaaaaaaaahhhhrrrrrrr! (Wookie growl from Chewbaca.)

    In English:

    “What! First I didn’t get a medal at the end of ‘A New Hope’ and now I don’t get a line in Fake Herzog’s post welcoming the new museum! Grrrrrrrrrrrraaaahhhh!”

    Han Solo:

    “Give a line to the wookie before he tears your arms out of their sockets.”

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